Change..

So I was just thinking the other day, how easily your life can change from one moment to the next..take mine for instance. I was a full time nanny, away from home every day, all day for eight months, then the next day I’m back at home, with different rules, different schedules, different routines...it’s different. And for me personally, it wasn’t easy getting back into that again...I’m still working on it to be completely honest.
When I look at my life at this point in time, I wonder what I could be doing more..how I can serve more at home without it being a “chore”..how can I get back in touch with some of my close friends, or visit my aunt more, show more interest in other people’s lives instead of my own..It makes me sad when I think about how I’ve lost some of that.
The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I missed my family. Sure, I came home every night, and I was home for the most part on weekends..but there were breakfasts and lunches I didn’t eat together with mom and the girls every day, alot of the time, I would miss dinner because I was working late, then I would come home tired and I would just want to be alone, or go to bed early...I gave up spending time with my family, and bonding with my sisters, spending more time in personal devotions and reaching out to those in need..to go to bed. I’m ashamed when I think of the poor choices I made because it affected not only my relationship with my family, but also my spiritual relationship with Christ, and those around me...
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved my job! I loved being with the kids, and making dinners and doing homework and such..I just didn’t do a very good job balancing my home life along with that..
The first few days of being home..it was hard. I’m not going to lie, I had a really difficult time getting used to being back with my family all day, every day. I had gotten used to the freedom of being kind of “in charge” with the kids, and being able to go out, do groceries, clean up around the house, pop in there, stop here..all on my own time. Then I had to go back to being just another daughter in my home. One who was part of the family and had to follow house rules and routines and such...I don’t mind following rules at all...but my selfish attitude had a hard time getting things done when my parents asked me too at specific times. I was uptight, not relaxed anymore...and oh my, my memory, was from 12:00 to noon hour..no joke :P It was frustrating both for me, and my family to say the least...
But all in all, as depressing as it is reading the first part of this post...it’s what happened, and it’s what I was going through...the past week or so however, things have changed for me..I’ve been doing alot of praying about this all, and trying to find ways to have better attitudes about getting things done..I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have the family that I do! God has given me one of the most patient set of parents I’ve ever known. My Mom has to deal with me every day and wow...she’s quite the lady. I love her so much and I love how hard she’s trying to help me get back on track, both with my music, as well as my life in general. She’s been so patient with me and giving me little encouraging comments here and there throughout the day, she prays for me, and teases me, and it just makes my day that much easier!
My Dad, has been so incredibly patient with me through this whole time as well...he would always ask how my day was, and give me a big hug and kiss before I went to bed every night. I would get gentle reminders that I was still part of the family and I was still loved at home, by everyone :) Now, he always makes sure that I know how much he cares about me, and wants to help me make things easier...I love him so much!
My sisters..I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am to have them at home with me (and in Brantford ;). Even when I was working, I would come home, and Heidi would always run and give me a big hug! She’s such a sweet, thoughtful girl and I want to make sure that I show her how much I love her back :) Cheryl’s the silly one. We’re always laughing about something at meal times :) Every morning I’m supposed to practice two hours of piano..well...Cheryl always does her school in the same room and while I’m playing the left hand by memory we’re usually doing some sort of silent communication and trying our utmost hardest not to laugh :D I usually fail.(hopefully mom forgot to read these few lines ;) Then we both get in trouble and she gets told “Cheryl you should move so you don’t keep distracting Naomi!” (secretly, between you and I...I’m the instigator..just ask mom :D). Then there’s Jacinda, she’s my lovely big sister with her ```adorable little girl Charity, my niece :) Though we don’t share a room anymore, or live in the same house...she’s still my big sister. I can tell her anything and she’s always honest with me..she makes me laugh because of all her interesting blog posts, and home decorating tips :D...she’s pretty amazing.
Then William..he just makes my day every day, always. I promise I have no favorites, but him being my only baby brother...gives him a pretty special place in my heart. He gives me lots of smiles now, and his dimple..I can’t even begin to tell you how absolutely adorable and snuggleable (forget spell-check please :D) and sweet he is!
....Makes me miss my big brother Wes :)...That’s where I end this post..I’m sitting at the station, waiting for the train cause I missed the first one :D (hopefully I can find a bus transfer down at Union :P) I’m going down there for a few days to visit so I’m pretty excited!
Anyways, I wrote this post for two reasons: one, to help me sort out my own feelings...I guess sometimes you realize things more when you write them down. I realized how much I love my family, and how much more time I want to spend with them, I realized how blessed I am and have been this whole time, and I realized that I have SO much to be thankful for..I am from the bottom of my heart... The second reason is this...I want to ask you to pray for me. Pray that I would be able to get back into full routine here at home, that I would enjoy and treasure the family that I have, and spending time with them. Pray that I would be able to be a greater blessing to those around me and that my life would be used for the glory of God in ALL that I find myself doing, change or no change! :) Thank you so much in advance :)...Blessings to you!